Nothing Holds All of Me
by nineteen stars
Summary: This is a story about Vania, the youngest of the Contés, and a story about how she struggles to find her place in the world.


**Nothing Holds All of Me**

_Author's note: So Vania really doesn't get all that much attention in the books which is kind of saddening. And lately I've been getting back into the whole Tortall/Tamora Pierce thing so I figured a relatively unknown character was a good place to start. And I feel weird putting this author's note at the beginning because mine are usually at the end but whatever. OBVIOUSLY I DON'T OWN THIS STUFF OR I WOULDN'T BE HERE. Oh and also for anyone who is reading my Twilight fic have no fear, I'm halfway through the next chapter on it so I'm not neglecting it. But everyone should let me know what they think of this._

Vania came into the room to find it in absolute pandemonium. Lianokami, Sarralyn, and Rikash were all in the room which was never a good combination. Four-year old Liano was standing between the frightened nurse and the other two children almost as if she was trying to protect them. Six year old Sarralyn was flying around the room in the shape of one of those nasty Stormwings obviously taking a lot of pleasure in the fear she had instilled in the woman who was supposed to be looking after her. Five year old Rikash had apparently set something on fire in the corner. Rolling her eyes Vania rushed over plucking young Sarralyn in the form of a stormwing from the air. "Put that out," she instructed the nurse tilting her head in the direction of the burning chest in the corner. The terrified woman nodded slowly before rushing off to do as she was instructed. 

"Come, Sarralyn, turn back or I'll get your mother," she threatened uninterestedly having already tired of these sort of stunts by the time that Sarralyn had reached age two and a half. Seconds later a six year old resembling her mother in a great deal of ways was in the little Stormwing's place. Setting Sarralyn down she peered over the little brunette's head to see Liano watching the nurse warily with her big brown eyes. Rikash came walking over his brown eyes trained on in his sister, Sarralyn, whom he was giving quite the venomous look for a five year old. She hadn't been aware that children could muster glares quite that vicious until today. Vania turned around to see the nurse had managed to put the fire out. "Do we have this settled?" she asked more to the children than to the incompetent woman hired by her mother for when Shinko or Daine were to busy with whatever it was they occupied themselves with to look after their children. The three children nodded in unison though Vania distrusted that mischievous twinkle permanently in Sarralyn's eyes. "If I hear of any more trouble then I'll make sure your parents lock you in the dungeons," she finished sternly before heading out of the room. 

Why was it that she always got stuck with those kids? Couldn't they be bothered to take care of their own children? They probably all just figured she had nothing better to do. Besides it seemed that as of late every spare minute of everyone's time was going into the planning of Lianne and Thom's wedding. Of course, no one bothered to ask her what she thought or would recommend for the wedding, naturally they just told her she was on child duty. But this wasn't the worst of it. Oh no, in less than two weeks there would be another four children to add to the mess. Kalasin and Kaddar were coming back for the wedding and bringing their son as well as Aly, her husband the crow-man, Nawat, and their triplets. The thought was enough to make her want to go throw herself the nearest tower. The last thing they needed to add to the heir to the Tortallan throne as well as two very powerful mage children were three half-crow, half-human children and the future emperor of Cathrak. Besides, was she herself not a princess? Wasn't this below her as such?

Everyone acted as though she had nothing better to be doing with her time. Sighing, Vania decided it was time to pay a visit to an old friend. Well it wasn't even a conscious decision; more like her feet simply carried her down to the rooms which belonged Aly's brother, Alan, and his squire, Gareth. Unfortunately when she knocked on the door no one came to answer. Ugh.

Angrier about the whole day more than anything, Vania rested her pale forehead against the cold windowpane as if that might cool her temper. It didn't. She closed her eyes concentrating on the sound of the rain falling rhythmically outside rather than the feeling that she needed to put her first through the nearest wall. Not that she could actually put her fist through a wall made of stone, but it was the thought that counted. "Van?"

The voice caused her to whip her head around dislodging several dark curls from the place they'd been forced into earlier. Her blue eyes settled on a familiar figure, drenched in rain and dripping on the floor. In seconds she closed the gap between them, her thin, long arms wrapped tightly around him, the water soaking into her own clothes. Already she could hear the disapproval in her sister's voice for getting the dress wet. "Gareth!" she cried, releasing him from the bear hug after a second, grinning broadly at him as she did so. 

"Uh, what are you doing here?" he asked uncertainly, still managing a smile of his own for his friend though.

She had to wonder why he felt like he had to ask that question. After all these years was she not allowed to pay him a visit? They had known each other practically since the moment she'd been born; it wasn't as if she were just some stranger dropping in. They saw each other at almost every social function. Then again up until this year he'd generally been serving as a page at those functions and she'd been seated with her family, but still. "I came to see you."

"Oh," he murmured, reached up and running fingers through his long blond hair, frowning to himself, "Well, I actually only came to pick up my sword. I've got to back down to the training yard."

"In this weather?" Vania asked, surprised.

He nodded, "Training for knighthood doesn't stop because of a little rain. Once I get my shield I'll be riding in weather like this all the time not to mention fighting in it." Having said that, he slipped around her pulling the door to his room open and grabbing a sheathed sword from where it was propped up against the wall right next to the door he'd just opened. Clipping the scabbard to the belt around his waist and pulling the door shut behind him. 

"I suppose that's true," she murmured disappointedly, "I will see you this evening perhaps?"

Gareth frowned more once, but this time the express seemed not only to be limited to his downward curved lips, but those big blue eyes of his as well. "I doubt it, Van. I'm terribly busy as of late. Besides, shouldn't you be helping with the wedding plans?"

She was about to respond to that when the both of them heard Gareth's name being called from down the hall as his knight master poked his head around the corner precariously, blinking at the sight of the two of them. "Gareth?" he asked once more his voice uncertain as the look on his face.

Gareth gave a one-shouldered shrug and turned his head back to her. "We can talk some other time," he told her with a sense of finality that almost stung. She watched as he trotted off after his knight master hearing Alan mumble something about not wanting to interrupt and Gareth assuring him he was interrupting nothing of significance. So that was what she had become? Nothing of significance. Pulling her shoulders up and raising her head as proudly as she could Vaina affirmed herself that it was otherwise. She was a member of the Conté line, a princess of Tortall. But she was also the third princess of said line and was the youngest of sixth. Her shoulders slumped slightly at the thought. Her kingdom didn't really need her. She was nothing significant. What was she doing here?

"Vania, what on earth are you doing?" she heard Lianne call from somewhere down the hall, "We've been looking all over for you. Why don't you come along and get changed?"

The way her older sister treated really infuriated her. Despite being only about two years apart in age Lianne was constantly babying her especially since all this wedding business. It was like she thought that getting married suddenly made her the queen of the world. Squaring her shoulders, Vania strode forth, growling at her sister as she passed her, "I'm not a child, you know."


End file.
